The 10 Worst Real Househusbands

Recently, NYPost released their ranking of the 10 best husbands of the Real Housewives franchise. From the most “supportive” Jason Hoppy to “engaging” Joe Gorga, they list their picks for the Top 10. Boring! Here’s my picks for the Worst Real Husbands of all time:

10. Gregg Leakes When Real Housewives of Atlanta premiered, I thought the world of Gregg and Nene Leakes. He seemed to be the ideal Real Househusband, happy to be in the background while letting his wife shine. Then came this embarrassing phone call to a local DJ where Gregg airs all the Leakes dirty laundry. It was enough to make Nene divorce him. Then came their second marriage and Gregg has turned into the gross toady Nene wants him to be, acting as her handmaiden/maid while she continues to self-sabotage a once promising career.

9. Mario Singer Number 9 on the countdown goes to Ramona’s husband Mario, who much like number 10 Gregg Leakes, seemed to be an ideal husband up until last season, when cracks in their marriage started to show (why else would Ramona stage that gross love scene for the cameras?). This season, news broke that Ramona had filed for divorce from Mario after wrapping filming of Season 6. They seemed to reconcile briefly after, but Ramona finally went through with the filing this summer after repeated gossip magazine sightings of Mario and Kyle Dexter in Sag Harbor. Mario even joked that the best cheaters are the ones that get away with it. Effortless, Mario, effortless.

8. Slade Smiley Amazingly, Slade has been part of Real Housewives of OC since the beginning, coming onto the screen as the husband of child-bride Jo De La Rosa. Jo quickly decided she’d rather be a singer than a kept woman and was granted a divorce. After finding a suitable mate for Jo on Bravo’s Date My Ex: Jo & Slade, Smiley then went on to date Gretchen Rossi after hooking up with Lauri Waring Peterson for a quick minute. Season 7 of Real Housewives of OC ended with Gretchen proposing to Slade on a rooftop in LA. No doubt in hopes of getting a Bravo-paid wedding and spin off a la Nene and Tamra and Kandi. That didn’t happen. Instead, Gretchen’s contract was not renewed for the latest season of RHOC and Slade and Gretchen are now on Marriage Bootcamp, to “deal with their issues before the big day”. Over this many years, Slade has revealed himself to be a reality show whore, craving the spotlight more than almost any of the women on these shows. But that’s not what lands him at number 8. Being a deadbeat father who’s son has brain cancer that he barely visits is Slade’s fait accompli

7. Kordell Stewart Married less than 2 years to child-like Porsha Stewart, Kordell Stewart filed for divorce and notified his wife by locking her out of their home and tweeting it. That’s pretty low. I never thought much of Porsha, but Kordell’s treatment of her during their divorce was abhorrent. Additionally, Kordell declined to provide Porsha spousal support, saying that she was able-bodied and making a decent salary as a Real Housewife. While those statements maybe true, that’s a shit way to end a marriage, no matter how miserable you are. Allegedly their divorce stemmed from Porsha’s inability to have children. What a piece of garbage.

6. Joe Guidice Joe’s a pretty awful father, as evidenced by his 4 monstrous brats. Joe’s a pretty awful husband, as evidenced by the rumors of cheating and this phone call which pretty much confirms it. Joe’s a pretty awful businessman, as evidenced by the forty different charges of fraud and pending jail time awaiting him.

5. Peter Thomas Cynthia Bailey’s husband Peter, owner of BarOne (RIP) and spender of Cynthia’s bank account, has continued to prove to be a drain on Cynthia, her bank account and Real Housewives of Atlanta. Now this delusional ass is threatening us with a Real Househusbands of Atlanta spinoff. Bravo must be pretty desperate if they’re giving a show to the drunkest, highest man to ever declare multiple bankruptcies in a single city.

4. Kelsey Grammar ew, ew, ew! I had forgotten had gross Kelsey was to Camille while they worked through their messy divorce! Calling her casting on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills his ‘parting gift’ to her, hero Camille Grammar filed for divorce after 13 years of marriage after learning Frasier Crane was having an affair with a British flight attendant. The split was ugly, and took 2 years to settle after myriad insults in the press, and even Kelsey petitioning to have he and his wife awarded sole custody of their two children. He’s even banned their kids from saying her name. That’s colder than Lilith would’ve ever been.

3. Russell Armstrong Watching Season 2 of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was tense, because shortly after filming completed, Russell committed suicide one month after Taylor Armstrong filed for divorce. Watching shifty-eyed Russell during Season 1’s fairy tale storylines of $100,000 birthday parties and 48 “business trips” to Phoenix were uncomfortable enough, but then to add this on top of it all really is the dick move to end all dick moves. Taylor’s no saint, I’m sure, but nobody deserves that.

2. Simon Barney Another intensely ugly divorce between Tamra Barney and her former husband Simon, has degraded them both as they fight using their children as pawns. There are allegations of abuse and neglect coming from both sides and neither of these two are coming out looking good. Simon was never a prize when he’d appear on Real Housewives of OC, treating Tamra as one would treat a child. Completely disgusting and awful.

1. Jim Bellino Husband of “Jesus Jugs” Alexis Bellino is the only husband of these shows I’ve ever had a visceral reaction to. Any man this shifty, this sweaty, this controlling, who keeps his wife on such a short leash is the absolute worst. JIm’s business acumen had always been suspect when the couple appeared on Real Housewives of OC, and after reading this, its no surprise I had such a instant dislike for him. From multiple bankruptcies, to being banned on Ebay, to FORGING MOTHER THERESA’S SIGNATURE ON A BASEBALL. It’s obvious the man has no shame and undoubtedly will eventually appear before a federal grand jury, hopefully for the crime against fashion that is Alexis Bellino Couture.

What do you think? Did I miss someone (it’s entirely possible!)? Let me know in the comments!


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