Random Thoughts At On The Run

Beyonce and Jay Z’s On The Run Tour closed out the final show of the US Tour in SF last night and last minute I was able to find a decent seat on StubHub (the tour finishes up in Paris, which will be broadcast on HBO, so if you missed the show, you can watch it then). I love Beyonce and most of Magna Carta Holy Grail, and I couldn’t wait to see the show, and it was… Ok I guess? As I said last night on twitter, On The Run was definitely like a pretty good Beyonce concert constantly interrupted by a decent Jay Z concert. It was doubly frustrating to be listening to a Beyonce song, get into it, then have it suddenly switch over to a Jay Z song. But I digress, I’m no music critic, so rather than even try, here are my random thoughts during the concert (in no particular order):

• Man that’s loud
• Jay Z must think black and white makes him look more street
• She looks so pissed
• They haven’t sung one entire song
• HALO! dammit sing the entire song!
• Fuck, why can’t Jay Z quit interrupting for like 5 minutes
• Ugh, another film clip
• They must’ve watched Pulp Fiction so many times
• This is like a really bad student film
• oh shit! sparks!
• They’re barely onstage together at all.
• What hotel are they staying at?
• Is that a ballet bar? Must be time for more ASSSSSSSSS!

• for fuck’s sake why didn’t i wear better shoes
• Could I pull off a studded leather biker jacket with TEXAS on the back
• Did I just buy a rip-off concert t-shirt
• these guys in front of me are so cute together
• Y O N C E !
• how do these girls behind me know EVERY SINGLE word to every song?
• this is so bougie
• jay z looks… haggard?
• Awww, I love this song
• Finally, something not from Magna Carta Holy Grail
• Bey’s smile is perfect
• How hard would it be to sneak back stage?
• How many fog machines are up there?
• What is the deal with the dancing twins
• “If you’re havin’ girl problems i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems and a bitch ain’t one — hit me!”
• Where’s the bar
• Tom Ford would never
• Is this some body-double bull shit?
• S-U-R-F-B-O-R-T
• Who shot this? Anton Corbijn?
• That wig’s gotta weigh like 40 pounds at least.
• Where are the lazers? This show needs lazers!
• They’re barely on the same screen together
• What’s on Bey’s rider?
• ugh gawd, not single ladies
• I dunno, it looks like they’re happy…
• Bey’s giving this Love On Top the full Mariah
• So much hairography
• Not flashing the ‘diamond’ sign
• holy shit ANOTHER costume change
• c’mon, hurry up jay z
• jay z interacts with the crowd more than Bey
• Is that a tear? Is she gonna cry… If she cries…
• She changed a lyric in Resentment. uh-oh…
• That’s how you wear a mask at a concert, Kanye!
• What font is that? Its not helvetica condensed…
• Finally a mashup that works!
Cuz if you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it
  If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it
• These would actually be really good seats if I was taller
• are we really gonna sing forever young? ugh, we are.
• This is what you do at AT&T Park, Kanye
• needs more vodka
• That final dress is really… oh shit it’s a huge flag… tied to her leather body suit!
• Only Bey could pull off a leather jumper, thigh high boots and ball cap
• An end credit sequence? really?

Photo via: Beyonce.com

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